Hi! My name is Jared and I like to make stuff around the interwebz.

Around August 2009, I told my friend that "One day I will meet Lily Allen". He told me I was off my face and it would never happen, so I decided to prove him wrong.

The experiment is this: Is it possible that by using pretty much nothing but the internet, could anybody make contact in real-life with anybody else in the world? And then what if one of those people worked in an office and the other had hit records and millions of followers? How hard would it be then?

Pretty hard so far.

People always ask me "Why Lily Allen?" Well, it's because she is totally fucking awesome, that's why. No, I'm not in love with her, I have never met her, and I don't have a shrine devoted to her. I just think her style is unique, her lyrics are something special, and she just has a great vibe about her in general.

I have worked very hard on all of this, so if you have had a good time here, I do ask you to look at the How Can You Help? section. Update your Twitter status, post it on Facebook, whatever. I don't want your money, I just want to meet Lily Allen.