I remember feeling this before
This deep pit where
All is wrong.
Where the pieces don't fit
And I am alone.
There are places where you
Choose not to follow me to
Mr. Right.
Mr. Righteous.
There are places in my head
Twisted tunnels and alleyways
Locked doors and hidden ambushes
Where I do not wish to go
Wish to go alone.

These deserts exhaust me.
Drag me to mirages,
Dreams and imaginings
That never materialise.
And when I try to lean on you
I discover the mirage of your empathy
For what I feel inside of me.
Fake sympathy.
Alone I am safe,
Predictable and small.
I can climb into the cracks
And feel nothing at all.