an eluding cheerfulness
this missing bliss, sweet as a kiss
something here’s amiss
when I’m suffering in this

an evasive happiness
yet aware of so many answers
the logical is pretty clear
the rational is right here
but that’s what I think I fear
(so close but not near)
so unaware of where to steer
and how not to veer
after such a year

see the essential realization
is essentially only a first step
with momentary elation
and really nothing more
unless remembered
it’s fleeting effects
are quickly forgotten

but follow up
with focused energy
and unrelenting effort
the everyday implementation
providing direction
and guiding behaviour
while reinforcing
those very same beliefs

there seems to exist
(since our barriers are oft handmade)
a distinction or some rift
between the knowing and the doing
when implementing a decided action

pointing it seems
towards weak will
causing the surrender of power
and resignation of all control
at the mercy of a sudden whim

a passive passenger
of an active antagonist.